How To: Trip Effectively |
You’re walking casually to your class in the next building over. There’s no rush, since you have 15 minutes to walk 25 yards, so you take a detour through the food court. You see your old roommate from your freshman year, the one who doesn’t talk to you anymore, then you wave to a gorgeous girl that stands next to you everyday in the pasta line. You start to say some witty remark to one of your sarcastic friends passing by when you find yourself unexpectedly at a wide flight of stairs--and your momentum refuses to be reined in. Your foot drops, there’s a feeling of your stomach scrunching into a slimy ball, and it’s all downhill from there. You topple headfirst toward the landing below, taking the three people in front of you crashing down, too. Truly your most epic fall.
Tripping is an art above any other. It’s actually pretty dangerous, which is why people avoid it in the first place, but the tremendously courageous take the challenge like a matador: face to face. Or maybe that’s face to floor. We see classic falls all the time. Though most don’t involve banana peels, I’m sure that’s on its way back in style. The most popular trips of our day are the corner-of-the-rug trip, wet floor, other people’s shoes, your own shoes, stairs (both up and down), and my personal favorite: nothing. Any effective trip usually involves one of these components, but once you’ve mastered these, I would encourage you to experiment with new, exciting things.
Materials Needed
- 1 Distracted Personage
- 1 Pair dragging feet or hurried feet, either will do
- 1 Crowd, including at least one each of the following:
- 1 Sympathetic girl
- 1 Smirking passerby
- 1 Openly laughing watcher (must have loud, attention-attracting laugh)
Then take one of the following:
- 1 Flight of stairs
- 1 Recently mopped floor
- 1 Crooked rug
- 1 Uneven step or sidewalk/ground
- 2 Especially flippy flip-flops (for yourself or a partner)
- 1 Shoe, sporting obnoxiously long laces (preferably purple for flashy appearance)
Combine with:
- A commonly used Walkway or
- An Open Area visible to all within 50 feet
- 1 Camera (for memories)
- 1 Cameraman (for capturing said memories)
- 1 or more Liquid Beverages (for milk-through-nose effect)
- 1 Ice Pack (for pain)
- 1 Chair (for Cameraman, and also for when using Ice Pack)
Instructions
- Position Crowd around Walkway or Open Area prior to preferred time of tripping
- Position Cameraman (with Camera) in Chair with a clear shot of the Area
- Place Liquid Beverage(s) in hands of one or members of Crowd
- Wait for unsuspecting persons to congest the Area
- Equip the Area or Individual with the chosen component. Here, we will use the basic Untied Shoe. This step can apply to oneself or other persons intended to trip.
- Upon reaching the correct Area, employ Dragging/Hurried Feet
- At precise moment of reaching Area, step on Shoelace (Slip, etc.)
- Cameraman takes magical shot of Personage flailing through the air. Optional: after shots of personage face down on the ground
- Apply Ice Pack as needed
*Please note best results come at meal times, between classes, and when attractive persons are present